An Open Letter to The Current

Dear The Current,

Initially I thought that our differences could be resolved in a private manner. I sent you a personal note via your "web form", but as I have yet to receive a response and you clearly have not changed your ways, I have no option but to bring this out onto the "playground." By playground, I mean this blog where, I have no doubt, both of my readers will support me.

For some time now I have been listening, somewhat sporadically, to The Current. More recently, my husband and I have been working on our house and we've repeatedly turned to you, The Current, for entertainment and distraction during our drudgery. Because we have not yet set up an appropriate sound system, my circa 1994 boombox has been pulled out, dusted off, and digitally locked on 98.3. We have been grateful, The Current, for the beats, rhythms, and rhymes that you have provided while we work. Where else can you reasonably find The Police, Public Enemy, Gomez, and Mazzy Star all assembled in the same set? Where else can you find new artists next to the classics that inspired them? We have been even started to consider the possibility of one day maybe (possibly) donating to this listener sponsored radio station.

In the recent weeks, The Current, you have disappointed us. Time and again, when we turn you on in the evenings, we consistently hear two songs, often one right after the other, that makes us want to grab the closest screwdriver and plunge it in our our ears, puncturing our eardrums and freeing us from the auditory tyranny of these songs, which you have clearly decided ought to be the anthems for summer '08. I wish I were talking about Atmosphere's "Guarantees," but your three week period of incessantly playing that song has passed. I speak, of course, of two songs that might as well be by the same artists (and my husband and I were shocked to find that they weren't): The Cure's "The Only One" and The Black Kids "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance Like Me." Sure The Cure was fun when we were in middle school and high school and even into college when we were young and emotional and hormonal, but there are few songs that one can listen to day after day and "The Only One" is not one. "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance Like Me" even less so.

When these two songs come on, my husband and I look at each other and considering puking in our mouths just a little bit before we remember that puking a little bit in your mouth is totally '02. We also consider changing the station but our hands are often covered in paint or plaster. We debate just kicking in the speakers, but my radio was a 16th birthday gift, which means that it has both sentimental and potential ebay resale value.

Please, The Current, for the love of God and all that is musical, please resist the urge to play these two songs evening after evening. My eardrums, and vintage boombox, will be better for it.

Your sometimes loyal listener,
Rhena